The Butt-Ugly Marzoids
by TheMadnessDog
Summary: An Invader Zim/Butt-Ugly Martians crossover where Zim sets out to destroy the BUMs for being so lazy. Please read and review. Chapter 2 is finally up! PS. If you havnt seen Battle of the Planets, or an episode of BUM, you may not get some of this.
1. The Battle Begins

The Butt-Ugly Marzoids  
  
a/nHeheh... This is my first fan fic. I personally think its really good, but what do you think about it? Just a reminder, if you havnt seen the IZ episode Battle of the Planets, or an episode of BUM, you may not get some of the jokes.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own any of the IZ characters, they all belong to Jhonen Vasquez, and thank God I own none of the BUM characters, they all belong to some unemployed freak. All I own is the guy with the I EAT STUFF shirt which is based on a drawing of me. Bit of useless trivia for ya.  
  
  
  
The title shows up on the screen, and the camera zooms into the Skool. Cut to Ms. Bitters's class.  
  
Ms. Bitters: And that is why, class, that one day all the chairs on Earth will explode, causing our sitting privilages to be doomed.. doomed.. doooooomed...  
  
The rest of the class sighs, as if this is the hundreth time she's gone on a Doom rant.  
  
Ms. Bitters: My next rant will be about... life on other planets.  
  
Zim: Nonsense!! Why must we study this!? We already know that all planets have life, and those planet-life things will soon bow to the Irkens!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Ms. Bitters, Dib, and the rest of the class look at him strangly.  
  
Ms. Bitters: ...yes. Anyway, life on Mars has already been discovered. And--  
  
Zim: Liar!!!! Mars is no more!! I have sent it flying through space for eternity, on a path of Doom and destrution!!!!!!  
  
More staring.  
  
Dib: See? This is what I'm talking about! Zim is an alien!!  
  
Sara: No he's not, Dib! When will you admit that!? I am sick of your increasing alien accusations!! No more!! I will not take it anymore!!!!!  
  
Sara jumps out the window of the class and runs around outside untill she hits a tree and falls down.  
  
Ms. Bitters: Okay, I am sick of all your insanity-related incedents! No more insanity, or you will all be doomed... doomed... dooooooo--  
  
Zim: Cease the dooming! I'm not finished with you, old stink beast woman! Mars and all its filthy inhabitants are dead! Full of death and death by- products!!!  
  
Zita: Ms. Bitters? I think Zim's gone crazy again.  
  
Zim: Crazy I not be!  
  
Zita: We need another crazy card!  
  
Zim: I'm not crazy, dammit!  
  
Zita: You are crazy if you think you can say "dammit" on Nickelodeon! Why is your gigantic head full of such insane thoughts?  
  
Melvin: Wait a minute! Dib's the one with the gigantic head!  
  
Dib: My head is not big!!  
  
Ms. Bitters: All of your heads are disturbingly huge! Now, I want you all to sit there and listen to me say "Doom" over and over for no apparent reason! Doom... doom.. doom....  
  
They all sit in there desks listening. But Zim starts talking to himself.  
  
Zim: Can there really be life on Mars still alive? Nonsense! Mars isnt even in this solar system anymore! But.. some could have escaped and come to Earth.... But they were all dead... Wait.. maybe the entire race had escaped and lived out in spaceship things and are now plotting to destroy the Earth and stuff! I must go back to the lab to scan for any extra- terrestrial life on Earth!  
  
Zim turns around to see that everyone had been listening to him. Ms. Bitters is still saying "Doom" over and over.  
  
Zim: Ummm... bye.  
  
Zim gets up and walks out of the room. Ms. Bitters continues ranting.  
  
Dib: See!? He's an alien!  
  
Sara jumps back in through the window.  
  
Sara: No he's not!  
  
She jumps back out. Cut to Zim's base. Here we see Zim out of disguise, sitting at his computer looking bored. He is scanning Earth for extra- terrestrial life.  
  
Zim:...filthy human........filthy human........filthy human.......Ahh! An Irken!! No wait.. that's me......filthy human..... filthy human..... filthy human........filthy human.....filthy human....What the!?  
  
Zoom into the screen Zim is looking at. The scan showes three aliens close up.  
  
Zim: Ooh, they're ugly!  
  
They are blue and have seperate clothing colors. One ie blue, one is yellow, and another is red.  
  
Zim: Computer! Bring up the scan biographies!  
  
A bunch of words start appearing on the screen. The computer starts reading them aloud.  
  
Computer: Biological information: Home planet: Mars.  
  
Zim: Ahh!  
  
Computer: Don't interrupt me! Mission on Earth: to destroy. Mission evaluation: ...0% complete.  
  
Zim: What!? Why would a conquring alien race not be fullfilling their duties?  
  
Computer: Shut up! I am still not finished! Current location: Crossbetweendeathvallyandafghanistan. Reason for incompetince: They have taken a liking to Earth. They enjoy Earth food and dancing.  
  
Zim: Liking? How can they like this horrid ball of tectonic plates?  
  
Computer: Shut the hell up!! Oh wait.. I'm done.. Okay, never mind.  
  
The computer screen goes blank. Zim turns around in his chair and starts thinking.  
  
Zim: So.. this probably isn't any of my business.. which it's not... But I must teach those lazy Marzoids a lesson! When a planet calls for them to destroy things..... they must destroy things!!!!!!!  
  
Zim gets out of his chair and walks over to the elevator. He rides it up to the main floor. When he gets there, he sees Gir, in dog disguise, walking around the kitchen making tacos with The Scary Monkey Show playing in the living room.  
  
Zim: Gir! Come with me to the Voot Runner! We must go destroy some Marzoids!  
  
Gir: Ohhh... But master! If I go, who will make the tacos!? I must make tacos!!  
  
Zim: You can make tacos later Gir! ...Gir?  
  
Zim walks into the next room to see Gir watching The Scary Monkey Show. The scary monkey growls.  
  
Zim: Gir! Come on!  
  
Gir: Bacon!  
  
Zim: Uhh.... yes. Come Gir! We must destroy the Marzoids!  
  
Gir: Why?  
  
Zim: Because... uh.. they like to dance. Instead of destroy.  
  
Gir: Who doesn't!?  
  
Suddenly, the lights dim and colored lights fill the room. Everybody Dance Now starts playing and Gir starts dancing. He does a little spin thing and does a split. Suddenly, the music stops.  
  
Gir: Ow! My crotch! Ceiling fans!  
  
Zim: ...Okay, I've had enough of your crap, Gir! Get in the Voot Runner now!  
  
Gir: I like pigs!  
  
Gir jumps out of his dog disguise and lands on the floor. He turns back to his dog disguise which is laying on the floor.  
  
Gir: Now, you watch over the tacos while I'm gone, 'K?  
  
The dog disguise lays there. Gir jumps into the Voot Runner where Zim is sitting. The window on the Voot Runner closes and the ship flys out through the roof, which isn't open.  
  
Zim: Okay... gotta fix that when I come back... Now! Time for some Doom!!  
  
Zim laughs evilly as dramatic music plays in the background. Cut to Crossbeweendeathvalleyandafghanistan. The 3 aliens, B-Bop, 2-T, and Do-Wah are standing with 3 Earth kids: Mikey, Cedric, and Angela. They are all dancing. Suddenly, 2-T stops.  
  
2-T: I feel danger coming this way! I feel it in my forboding-sense thingy!  
  
Mikey: You don't have a forboding-sense thingy.  
  
2-T: Oh. Yeah.  
  
Do-Wah: Come on! Let's dance around like idiots for no reason!  
  
B-Bop: That would be because we are idiots, Do-Wah!  
  
B-Bop grabs onto Do-Wah.  
  
B-Bop: I mean, look at our names! Look at our names!!  
  
Do-Wah: Hey, I'm trying to eat here! Stop hassling me!  
  
B-Bop: Not untill you look at our names!  
  
Cedric: Hey, stop guys!  
  
Angela: Yeah! I mean, everyone knows we suck, and we have no fans in America whatsoever, so lets just dance like the crazy retards we are!  
  
And they do. Suddenly, Zim's Voot Runner/Cruiser, whatever you want to call it, flies above them. It fires giant energy balls at them which miss. Zim turns the loud speaker on.  
  
Zim: Hahahahahah!! Take that you butt-ugly Marzoids!!  
  
Zim laughs some more. His Voot Runner then crashes into a canyon wall. It falls to the ground and Zim and Gir pop out.  
  
Zim: Uh... Okay.  
  
2-T: Who are you!?  
  
Zim: Everything that you are scared of!!  
  
Mikey: AHHHH!!! You're a circus clown!!!  
  
Zim: ......no.  
  
Zim gets up on his spider legs and glares at them. Cut to Dib's house. In the living room, Dib and Gaz are fighting for the remote for the TV. Gaz does a spinning-karate thing and knocks Dib on the ground. She walks over and turns the TV on to a show where a cow was sitting in a wheat field.  
  
Dib: Gaz, didn't you already see this? Isn't this the one where the bats eat a cow? I need to see Mysterious Mysteries!  
  
Gaz: I need to see it again!! It's so funny. DO NOT DEPRIVE ME MY COW- EATING BAT PLEASURES!!!  
  
Gaz's eye starts twitching and she turns back around to the TV. The bats are diving down on the cow when the screen goes blank and a news reporter appears.  
  
TV Announcer Guy: We interrupt whatever show you are watching to bring you... news stuff.  
  
Gaz: Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Damn you, TV Announcer Guy, damn you!!!  
  
TVAG: There seems to be some sort of alien warfare going on in Crossbetweendeathvalleyandafghanistan.  
  
Dib: Alien warfare!? Crossbetweendeathvalleyandafghanistan!? Where is that!?  
  
Gaz: Crossbetweendeathvalleyandafghanistan. You know, it's that place that that looks like a cross between Death Valley and Afghanistan.  
  
Dib: Figures.  
  
The TV screen shows Zim up on his spider legs fighting the three Martians. A crowd of people has already gathered. Professer Membrane walks into the living room. He looks at the TV.  
  
Membrane: Wha!? Aliens! This is some sort of scientific thing! We must be there to record stuff! Come, kids!  
  
So Membrane, Dib, and Gaz get in a car and drive away Crossbetweendeathvalleyandafghanistan. Cut to some secret cave thingy where alien hunter Stoat Muldoon is watching the TV.  
  
Muldoon: Those are the 3 aliens I've been tracking! Plus some new one! This must be the lucky day for Stoat Muldoon, Alien Hunter Extraordinarre!  
  
Muldoon makes a dramatic pose and keeps it for about 15 seconds.  
  
Muldoon: Thats enough! To my extraodinarily badly animated vehicle!  
  
Muldoon gets in his extraodinarily badly animated car and drives off. Cut to the battleground. Zim is cutting the Martians while they try to fight back with lasers. Dog, the Martian's robot, is fighting Gir.  
  
Dog: Bark!  
  
Gir: Bark!  
  
Dog: Bark!  
  
Gir: Meow!  
  
Dog: Meow?  
  
Dog stops. He wonders why Gir said "Meow". He wonders why Gir said "Bark" in the first place. He wonders why humans must wear pants. He wonders so much that his head explodes. Gir looks at the robot wreckage. He then does a little victory dance thingy. We suddenly see Dib's car driving up. At the same time, we see Muldoon's extraordinarily badly animated vehicle drive up. They all get out at the same time.  
  
Muldoon: I am Stoat Muldoon, Alien Hunter Guy!  
  
He looks around to notice that no one gives a damn about what he is. He looks sad. Membrane walks up to him.  
  
Membrane: How dare you make a mockary of things! You think you can hunt aliens? Ha! Only science will prevail, with their superior theories! Except for the big bang and evolution. I don't know what us scientists were high on when we thought those up.  
  
Muldoon: You think you scientists can do things!? Only alien hunters will win!  
  
So they start fighting for a reason that I have long forgotten. Anyway, we see Dib and Gaz are watching the fight. A guy with glasses and a shirt that says "I EAT STUFF" walks up to Dib.  
  
Guy: So... what's going on?  
  
Dib: The two alien races are fighting each other! I'm hoping the winner is the blue ones, because the green one is a real pain in the ass!  
  
Guy: ..you know the aliens...?  
  
Dib: Well, not the blue ones. Only the green one. His name is Zim. AND I HATE HIM SO!!!!  
  
Guy: Yeah.........  
  
The guy starts slowly stepping away.  
  
Dib: Sure, I'm getting the cold shoulder from a kid who's shirt says "I EAT STUFF".  
  
Guy: Do not mock the shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dib flinches. He looks at the guy who is looking strangly at Dib.  
  
Guy: No mocky..... no....  
  
Dib gives him an odd look and turns back to look at Zim. Zim has given them quite a fight. The Martians are all tired out.  
  
B-Bop: Well team.. I think you know what to do now!  
  
The ohter 2 nodded.  
  
Zim: What is this? Some sort of primative way of defending yourself?  
  
Butt-Ugly Martians: BKM!  
  
Suddenly they start growing armor everywhere. They say stuff, but I can't quite remember what it is. They all have on armor with their color on it covering all of their bodies.  
  
Butt-Ugly Martians: Let's get ugly!  
  
Zim: "Let's get ugly"? What kinda catchphrase is that?  
  
2-T: Uhh... the best catchphrase ever!  
  
Zim: Well, here's a better one! Let's get...... doom.... something! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!  
  
Zim laughs evilly and runs into his Voot Runner. It flies shakely, because it had crashed into the cliff before. They fly at each other, glaring at each other.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
What will happen!? Only I know... please review! 


	2. The Ending of the.. Thing...

Part 2  
  
a/n: Heh... This really is weird. Don't worry, hardcore IZ fans, more BUM destroying is ahead. AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! ahem. Warning: Dib fans may be alittle mad with one certain part, but trust me, it isnt perminent. I would never make Dib join forces with the BUMs permainatly. Oops, I've said to much. *fires amnesia ray* Okay, that doesn't work through a computer moniter. ... ... ... ... *runs away*  
  
Disclamer: All Invader Zim characters are property of Jhonen Vasquez. All Butt-Ugly Martian characters are property of some crappy show-making company.  
  
  
  
Zim and the Martians fly at each other. At the last moment, the Martians move out of Zim's way. Zim swerves, because he almost hits a mountain.  
  
Zim: You will pay for that! Gir!! Get them!  
  
Gir goes all red.  
  
Gir: Yes sir! I will kick their asses sir!  
  
Gir flys up at the Martians. He shoots a laser out of his eye, hitting Do- Wah.  
  
Do-Wah: Aaaaa! I want to eat something!  
  
As Do-Wah falls, Gir changes back to blue and does another victory dancy thingy. Cut to the ground. Dib and Gaz continue watching Zim and the Martians fight. Mikey, Cedric, and Angela walk up to Gaz.  
  
Angela: Hey. You come from Zim's town, right.  
  
Gaz: ....yeah. Go away.  
  
Cedric: Our aliens are gonna kick your alien's butt!  
  
Gaz: Get the hell away.  
  
Mikey: *gasp* Swearing is not nice!  
  
Gaz looks at them. And looks at them. And looks at them.  
  
Cedric: Okay... I'm kinda getting freaked out...  
  
Gaz continues to stare at them. Then, she stares some more.  
  
Angela: ...ahhh!!  
  
The 3 kids start running away. Suddenly, Do-Wah falls on top of them, explodes, and kills all 4 of them. Suddenly, Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons appears.  
  
Nelson: Ha-ha!  
  
He dissapears.  
  
Gaz: ...okay.  
  
She pulls out her GS2 and starts playing as Zim and the 2 remaining Martians are fighting.  
  
B-Bop: You will never destroy Earth! We will protect it!  
  
Dib: Protect Earth!?  
  
Dib runs out into the middle of the battlefield.  
  
Dib: You're trying to save the Earth?  
  
2-T: Yes, it is our job to protect the Earth from stuff and stuff.  
  
Dib: Cool! Lets join forces to stop Zim!  
  
Zim: What!? Dib, even I didn't think you could stoop THIS low!  
  
B-Bop: Yay! Lets start singing for no reason!  
  
The Butt-Ugly Martians: We are the Martians, the Butt-Ugly Martians! We don't wanna start a war! I just wanna hoverboard! We don't wanna conqure Earth! I just wanna fill my girt!(seriously, what the hell do they say there!? What is a girt!?) If you can go too far, you will see how tough we are! We are the Martians, the Butt-Ugly Martians! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- da-da-da!  
  
Dib just stands there.  
  
Dib: Okay. That is reeeeeeeeeally annoying. Destroy them, Zim!!  
  
Zim: I already have!  
  
Dib looks around and sees the flaming reckage that was 2-T.  
  
B-Bop: No!! You will pay, Zim! You will pa--EXPLODE!  
  
B-Bop falls to the ground, in flames.  
  
Zim: Ahhh.... Another win for the Irkens. Glory to Zim!!!  
  
Cut to an alien spaceship in... space. Martian Emperor Bog and Dr. Damage had been standing at a computer panel thing watching the battle the whole time.  
  
Bog: So! Those 3 weren't destroying Earth after all!  
  
Damage: That's what I've been trying to tell you! But did you listen!? Noooooooo...  
  
Bog: Well, I'll just have to destroy Earth myself. Bring the ship down to that short green alien!  
  
The people watching the fight suddenly start screaming. The Spooky Chihuahua walks comes and starts walking around. It stares at all the bystandards. They start screaming and run away. That was lucky, because Bog's spaceship starts to decend and no one is there to see it. It flies towards the battlefield, and lands on The Spooky Chihuahua.  
  
Dib: Whoa! What is that!?  
  
A door opens and Bog and Damage walk out.  
  
Zim: Ooh, they're ugly!  
  
Bog: Are you the one who destroyed those traitorous... traitors?  
  
Zim: Yes.  
  
Bog: Allow me to thank you. I am Bog, Emperor of Mars!  
  
Zim: Mars? But I destroyed Mars!  
  
Bog: What!? You destroyed our planet!? Then I will destroy your planet! Uhh... where is your planet?  
  
Zim: Uhh... It's a secret.  
  
Dib: It's name is Irk!  
  
Zim: Oh, you horrible, interfering Dib!  
  
Bog: Then I will destroy Irk! ...but I don't know where that is, so I'll just destroy Earth.  
  
Dib: What!?  
  
Zim: Wait!! I'm supposed to destroy Earth! I was here first! By about 9 months!  
  
Bog: Granted, but who cares? Soon, I will destroy Earth!! Ahahahahahahah!!!  
  
Damage: Ahahahahahah!!  
  
Bog: Quiet! Only I may laugh. Ahahahahahahahah! Ahahahahahah!!  
  
Zim: Computer! Set auto-defense!  
  
Zim's Voot Runner starts glowing. Suddenly, it shoots huge laser ball thingys toward Bog and Damage. They jump out of the way just in time; the laser ball thingys create a giant hole in the ground where they were standing. Bog and Damage jump into their ship and fly towards outer space.  
  
Bog: Call the fleet! We shall attack Earth!  
  
Zim looks at them and jumps in his Voot Runner. He flies up into outer space, following them. Dib stares up at them.  
  
Dib: Okay.. So they're fighting, but they both want to destroy mankind... If I go up into space, I can finish off the winner, and Earth will be safe! Yes! The perfect plan! To my lab!!!  
  
Dib runs off. Cut to Earth's orbit. Zim flies up to see 2,000 Martian ships heading toward Earth.  
  
Zim: I can't possibly fight all of these by myself! This must be the entire Marzoid Fleet. Well... I must fight back.. with the Irken Armada! I must contact the Tallest!  
  
Cut to The Massive, the Tallest's ship. Red and Purple are sitting on their thrones. Red is eating potato chips and Purple is drinking a Slurpee.  
  
Irken Tech: Transmission coming from Earth... again.  
  
Red: Ohh... Zim...  
  
Purple: I'm really getting pissed off now.  
  
Red: Oh well. At least he can entertain us a bit. What is it, Zim?  
  
Zim appears on the main screen.  
  
Zim: Sirs! I need the Irken Armada! The Marzoids have come to attack Earth! Earth was rightfully ours!  
  
Red: Marzoids...?  
  
Zim: They are from Mars!  
  
Purple: Wait... didn't you destroy Mars?  
  
Zim: Yes, but alot are still alive. I dunno. Maybe this whole crossover was never ment to be. But thosands are counting on me to destroy these bums, so I must! Send the Irken Armada to Earth, please my Tallest! I cannot survive fighting them by myself!  
  
Red: Uh-huh... Yeah sure whatever, Zim. We'll send the Irken Armada. Bye now.  
  
Before Zim can say anything else, the screen goes blank.  
  
Purple: So.. should we help Zim?  
  
Red eats a potato chip.  
  
Red: Hmmm.... no let's not.  
  
Purple: Okay.  
  
Purple takes a sip of the Slurpee. Cut to Dib's room. He is on his lap top talking to Agent Darkbootie.  
  
Dib: And that is why, Agent Darkbootie, I need a space fighter thingy!  
  
Darkbootie: Dib, you have taken too many of our ships.  
  
Dib: True, but I really need one!  
  
Darkbootie: Fine. This is the last one. Come pick it up at NASAPLACE headquarters.  
  
The screen goes blank.  
  
Dib: Yes! Here I go to save the Earth!  
  
Dib runs off toward NASAPLACE. Cut to Zim's Voot Runner. Zim is staring at the onslaught of Martians invaders.  
  
Zim: I'll just have to hold them off untill the Armada gets here! Prepare for Doom!  
  
Zim screams as he flies towards the ships. He shoots a laser at one ship. It explodes, causing a chain reaction that destroys 100 other ships.  
  
Zim: Oh. That was easy.  
  
Zim flies around shooting lasers. The amount of ships decreases from 2,000 to 1,000.  
  
Damage: Nooooooooo!  
  
Bog: Quiet! Only I may scream. Nooooooo!  
  
Zim shows up on the radio screen.  
  
Zim: Ha! I have already destroyed half your ships! Soon I will kill all of you! Your ships are so easy to destroy that this isn't even a challange!  
  
Damage: Oh, here's the problem. The ship's shields weren't turned on.  
  
Zim: D'oh!  
  
Zim watches as the remaining ships all glow with the energy of a shield. A shieldy shield.  
  
Bog: Attack!  
  
The ships start shooting lasers at Zim. Zim screams and swereves out of the way. He fires back, but his laser bounces off the Martian's shields. It almost hits Zim, but he moves out of the way. It flies down to Earth. Cut to an Afghanistanese cave. Osama bin Laden steps out to get some fresh air when the giant laser hits the cave behind him. It explodes, killing bin Laden(yay) and starts a chain reaction that causes all Taliban caves to explode, killing all the Taliban officers and junk(double yay). Then, for no real reason, bin Laden materializes in New York City, still alive, giving everyone a chance to torture him like they so wanted to do(triple yay). Then, for no reason, all the abortionists on Earth explode(quadruple yay). Cut to Zim.  
  
Zim: ...what a screwed up planet. They start wars with themselves and kill their own babies.  
  
Suddenly, a gigantic ship comes out of Earth's orbit. It is shaped like an ape, and its hands are gigantic guns. And at the bridge of the ship is Dib.  
  
Dib: Now, I just have to finish off the winner, and Earth will be safe aga-- Holy crap!  
  
Dib looks up to see that 1,000 ships are coming his way, fighting Zim's Voot Runner.  
  
Dib: Ugh.. There's no way I can fight them all. I'll have to help Zim defeat them and then I'll kill him! Heeheehee!  
  
Dib flies up and fires a laser toward a ship. The laser bounces off its shield, and comes back towards Dib. Dib screams and dodges it.  
  
Zim: Dib!? What the hell are you doing here!?  
  
Dib: I've come to help you take care of these Martians once and for all!  
  
Zim: Why?  
  
Dib: Because... they're extreamly annoying!  
  
Zim: Yes.. yes they are.  
  
Dib: I think I know how to stop them! If I can send a virus into their ships, we can destroy them! Like in Independence Day!  
  
Zim:*sniffle* It was so sad when all those aliens died...  
  
Dib: ...yes.  
  
Dib starts typing in his computer. The virus starts uploading, then finishes. Zim fires a laser at a ship. It exploded, but it didn't set off a chain reaction.  
  
Zim: The shields are still pretty strong! I'll need your help!  
  
But Dib isn't listening. He's having fun destroying Martians with his giant lasers. Zim join in and they both start having Martian-killing fun. Two Martian ships start talking to each other, and Dib intercepts the message.  
  
Martian #1: What's up with this? They're stronger than us!!  
  
Martian #2: Yeah.. We're supposed to be really strong!  
  
Martian #1: That Irken isn't really that strong. But that big-headed human is pretty strong.  
  
Martian #2: Yeah... His head sure is big..  
  
Dib: Oh, that's it!!  
  
Dib presses a button on his control panel. A wormhole opens up behind the two ships.. Cut to Zim. He has already destroyed all the Martian ships except for the one with Bog and Damage.  
  
Bog: That does it! Come on! Me and you.. one on one!  
  
Zim: Fine! But you will not win!  
  
Cut to Dib and the 2 Martians. The Martians in the ships are screaming as they get sucked into the wormhole.  
  
Dib: Yes.. You'll have a fun time in that wormhole.. Because at the end of this wormhole lies... A Room with a Moose!!  
  
The Martians scream even louder when they get in and the entrance closes behind them, dooming them for an eternity with the Moose.  
  
Zim: Hey! Don't use that wormhole! That was origialally my plan! It's copyrighted! Don't use it!  
  
Dib: I can use whatever damn wormhole I want!  
  
Zim: I'll kill you!  
  
Dib: I'd like to see you try!  
  
Zim flies at Dib.  
  
Bog: Hey! We're supposed to be fighting!  
  
Zim: Oh, sorry! Where are my manners!  
  
Zim fires a laser, exploding Bog's ship, killing him, Damage, and everyone on it.  
  
Zim: Now! I kill you Dib!  
  
Zim rushes at Dib. He slams him with his Voot Runner. Dib goes flying towards Earth, but Dib stopped flying. He presses the wormhole button.  
  
Dib: Say "hi" to those Martians for me, Zim!  
  
The wormhole appears behind Zim. He looks at it and screams.  
  
Zim: Damn you, Dib!!  
  
Zim sets his engines to full blast trying to get away from the wormhole. Suddenly, Zim gets an idea. He presses a button on his control panel, and his laser guns turn in the opposite direction. He fires his lasers, and the go into the wormhole. The backlash from the laser firing gives Zim enough speed to get away from the wormhole's pull. Zim flies at Dib, presses the button to turn the guns again, and fires at Dib. It blows Dib's engain off.  
  
Dib: Noooooooo!! Eject!!  
  
Dib flies into Earth, and falls into the Pacific Ocean. Dib then is ejected from his ship, which then explodes.  
  
Dib: Great! I'm stranded out in the middle of the ocean.. Well, at least it can't get worse.  
  
Suddenly Dib cringes. After a few seconds he relaxes again.  
  
Dib: Wow! I said it couldn't get worse, and nothing ironic happened! I guess movies aren't right about everything!  
  
Suddenly, a giant whale swims towards Dib. It opens its mouth and swallows Dib whole. Dib screams as he slides through the intestines. Cut to Zim's base. Zim is on a moniter talking to the Tallest.  
  
Zim: Why didn't you help me!? I had to fight their entire fleet by myself. But, I succeded, and the Martians are now completely wiped out!  
  
Red and Purple look at each other.  
  
Red: Sure, Zim. You destroyed their entire fleet.  
  
Zim: It's true! I get the feeling that you don't trust me!  
  
Purple: What!? Us!? Not trust you!? Don't speak of such nonsense! Bye now.  
  
The moniter goes blank. Red and Purple look at each other and burst out laughing. Cut to the stomach of the whale that ate Dib. Dib is sitting on the "floor" looking around. His boots have melted.  
  
Dib: Okay, Dib.. Don't worry.. You can get out of this...  
  
Dib looks around some more. He sees the hot fluids dripping from the "ceiling", smells the foul-smelling air, and feels the sticky saliva on his body. Then he just stares into blank space.  
  
Dib: Mommy.  
  
The End  
  
  
  
heheh... Dib lovers are gonna hate me for that ending.. Please Review. 


	3. The Chapter What Makes No Sense

An extra chapter of doom  
  
A/N: I've decided to jump-start this story a bit by adding a 3rd chapter. It really has nothing to do with the story, but its funny.  
  
Chapter Three is a story of what happens to all the characters after the series of events of this fan fic.  
  
Zim- Since Dib is out of the picture, Zim is free to take over Earth by himself. After deciding to fix Gir a bit, something goes terribly wrong, and Gir goes on a homocidal rampage, killing Zim and 3 and a half other people.  
  
Gir- After being fixed by Zim, a computer chip falls out of place, and Gir goes on a homocidal rampage, killing 4 and a half people. After that, he explodes, wiping out Southern California.  
  
Dib- After spending 3 years inside the belly of a whale, he is crapped out and lands inside a giant bubble. There, he sees Mermaids, which is one of the many things that he has been trying to prove. He talks to himself about his plan untill some Mermaids overhear and decide that Dib can't return to the surface, because they dont want to be found out. They use magic or something to turn Dib into a Mermaid, forcing him to start a new life under the sea... *starts singing that song*  
  
Gaz- Gaz grew up to be the second female presidant of the United States. Once a Vice Presidant to the first female presidant, Lisa Simpson, she succeeded her when Presidant Lisa Simpson was killed by Gir on his homocidal rampage. She now runs the country and, following tradition, she cheats on her spouse daily.  
  
Ms. Bitters- Ms. Bitters lived forever, always teaching at the Skool. What's up with that!? Huh!? Huh!? Huh!? Can you imagian, huh!? Huh!?  
  
Professer Membrane- After all science was proven wrong by another force *coughreligioncough*, he lost all his money and was forced to become a hobo. He was killed in The Great Hobo Fire of 2011.  
  
Stoat Muldoon- After realizing that he had wasted his life, he was forced to become a hobo. He was killed in The Great Hobo Fire of 2011.  
  
Red and Purple- They eventually ruled all the universe. After the Irkens realized that even though they were tall, they didnt do any of the invading work, and revolted, they were cast down into the slums of Irk, where they were forced to cross-breed with Irken animals to reproduce.  
  
All other BUM characters- They died. That's explained in the story, smart one.  
  
Okay.. I was in a weird mood today. This is really ment to entertain, and has nothing to do with what im planning and stuff. I'm planning a sequal to this(which happens because of some of the events in this story, but they have nothing to do with the BUMs), but the sequal is based on the fact that none of the stuff here happened, and that Dib somehow escaped the stomach of the whale. Expect the sequal to arrive.. sometime.... 


End file.
